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Dangerous at night

Posted 05-28-2010 at 01:10 AM by sweetiepie

She said, "I could kill you in your sleep for what you just said."

I turned off the light, and tried to get to sleep. It had been the worst day of my life, and I was quite done with it. It had started with the smallest perceivable irregularities. Like when I went to make an omelet, the color of the refrigerator seemed fascist, except it didnít just seem, it really was, or it really is fascist. It's that off-white you see in every Mao poster. Or Portiaís hair, for example, had a look of Lolita bitterness to it, like she might go and get an ugly tattoo on her bottom in the afternoon. And maybe she really did. I mean to say, itís not like I was deluded into thinking that the day was especially irritable. It was that I was more awake, that morning, to a world that is always irritable.

My wife. The woman that I suppose might kill me tonight, bothered me most of all. And again, to excuse her, to give her the grace she deserves, I must explain that this is not her doing either. Itís more like I hate God, or letís say the sun, and all the light it produces, and it just so happens that my wife, Margaret, reflects more light than anything else in the world.

When I told her this, she said "are you calling me fat?"

"Margaret," I could have said right then, "I don't know. Your freckles are dusty street lamps that make it impossible for telescopes to see past your neckline."

But thatís not what I said.
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