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arbitrage for the fail

Posted 11-24-2009 at 02:19 PM by sweetiepie
Updated 11-25-2009 at 09:37 PM by sweetiepie

Today I lost Audre the perfect present. Months ago, she started following this blog:

http://drjohnsonsdictionary.wordpress.com/

You see she's the kind of girl that's always hitting up used book stores. Interested in marginalia, antiquated terminology, authors and languages in general. With a master's in Victorian Writers, it's only natural she should turn all her facebook and gmail quotes into Dr. Johnson's clever little definitions.

Too bad they don't make full dictionaries anymore. Just crappy little penguin anthologies.

But then I found on ebay an auction for a beat up 1799 edition. Mind you, I'm not an actuary, or even employed full time, so generally I can not afford things like rare books. I rarely buy anything for myself that costs more than ten dollar. And in good condition, these things go for thousands. But I put in a bid, and when it went up, I got some financial backing from another friend, and decided to forgo giving her a christmas present, because, hey this is a perfect gift.

But then of course, I got nailed at the last second by someone looking for deals, who is as we speak trying to figure how to resell it to some relatively wealthy jerk who will keep it in the farthest corner of his jerk-library. Uhg. Now I feel like I owe her something invaluable.

*weird update*
At least I'm going to make her party. She and I and our old old friends are going to a gay bar on the outskirts of our conservative little nowhere city, which is laughable in and of itself. They have drag cabaret, and I've suggested to Angie that I might go in full drag myself. I've never tried but I think some kind of sexy androgyny would be fun. And what's the worst that could happen? Actually I've thought of what will happen. I am sometimes oblivious but always rational, the social consequences of this action are as follows:

Alex and Brian, the most conservative of the group, would say something, but they both have lame sex lives. Noah will approve. Angie's brother will be jealous. Angie will want me and want to be me and will have all the fun in the world decorating me. Angie's husband will laugh sweetly in the way only a reformed mormon can laugh sweetly. Sarah will want to bone me some more. Audre well-- we're not having sex anymore-- but she'll get the most out of it. She'll laugh, she'll blush, she'll take me anything but serious, and for my expense, I'll seriously haunt her fantasies for an extra month.
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