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Old 11-24-2014, 12:42 PM
vjvj's Avatar
vjvj vjvj is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: IL
Studying for MFE
Posts: 7,895

If you put an expected grad date, you can also get rid of the "Candidate for".

Get rid of all italics. It is harder to read.

I'd use standard bullets.

I'd indent all text under the section headings. That is, I wouldn't put the degree and work flush with the left margin. This will make the overall structure stand out more and usually makes the resume look more open. I'd also not have the bullets hang to the left of what's indented (exams, right now).

I'd not spread the exams all the way across the page. I'd keep it all nearer to the left margin so you don't have to scan a lot horizontally to read the section.

I'd put a month on the start and end of all date ranges.

I'd get rid of the soft boot camp bullet.

"Provided public service" is a very week and vague start to a bullet. I really don't have the slightest idea what that means after reading the section. If you're doing work for teachers, I don't see a reason to mention the Board of Education. That's filler.

"Assisted" is another very weak start. What exactly did you do to assist? Again, I guess I don't understand the job at all, as it is hard to see how budgeting after-school activities has anything to do with the military. I think this whole section should be rewritten and should be much clearer and much more focused on what you did/achieved.

"Resonsible for" is another weak start. "maintaining" is ambiguous and it isn't exactly clear what is being scheduled, so again the bullet isn't at all clear.

You use "optimize" loosely here, which is bad when your readers have a strong mathematical background. And optimizing, or even improving, kind of begs for a numerical result. The result is WAY more important than accessing (whatever that means) and updating.

Communicating is always a lame bullet. Obviously you communicated. Everyone but the catatonic communicate. What were the results of this communication? Would that make a good bullet?

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