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  #4471  
Old 09-19-2018, 03:19 PM
Entropy Entropy is offline
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Did nobody hear any good jokes lately?
In soviet Russia, joke hears you!
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Outside the context of my faith, I am not intolerant of you ... If anything here, you're being a bit of a bigot towards me.
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I thought that's what I was saying, exactly. One day I (or people like me) will be thought of exactly as you and I think of racists in the deep south.
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I put the whole cob in my mouth and suck the kernels right off in one swift motion.
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What 6-year-old boy didn't occasionally stick his junk between his legs during bathtime just to say, "Look, Mommy, I'm a girl!" as a joke?
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I can see having a discussion about magic potions vs. pharmaceuticals in a chemistry class. I think that's a good idea.
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  #4472  
Old 09-26-2018, 01:56 PM
Actuary321 Actuary321 is offline
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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Congress was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Congress lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
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  #4473  
Old 09-26-2018, 03:28 PM
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Chief Petosky Chief Petosky is offline
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Originally Posted by Actuary321 View Post
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Congress was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Congress lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
IMO, would be much better without the last sentence and with the word "free" omitted (it would be implied). Is funnier without the explanation, and I tend to look for the punchline in the last sentence.
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  #4474  
Old 09-26-2018, 03:47 PM
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ShundayBloodyShunday ShundayBloodyShunday is offline
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I was expecting a thank you note and a dozen bags of crap to be the punch line.
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  #4475  
Old 09-27-2018, 02:20 PM
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The Wizard of Awe The Wizard of Awe is offline
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I don’t think that barber will stay in business long if he’s only giving one haircut a day.
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  #4476  
Old 09-27-2018, 02:30 PM
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DyalDragon DyalDragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Actuary321 View Post
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Congress was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Congress lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
Better joke without the last line, and if you're going to try to make a statement like that you at least have to be realistic... there would have already been a long line of freeloaders standing outside long before the first politician ever got his haircut.
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Dyal, if you die from COVID, you might never realize your dream of becoming an ASA!

actually, on 2nd thought, you've been proven to likely be too dumb to become an ASA anyway.
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that's a dumb example and really has zero to do with my thoughts on children.

met ARTS kids. they are nice kids. no talk of being aborted was mentioned.
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I got called Karen for getting pissed at people...
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  #4477  
Old 09-27-2018, 03:08 PM
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BG5150 BG5150 is offline
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I donít think that barber will stay in business long if heís only giving one haircut a day.
I want to know what he did to be subjected to performing community service.
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  #4478  
Old 09-27-2018, 03:13 PM
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ElDucky ElDucky is offline
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I want to know what he did to be subjected to performing community service.
Pole tampering.
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  #4479  
Old 09-27-2018, 03:16 PM
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Marcie Marcie is offline
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Originally Posted by The Wizard of Awe View Post
I donít think that barber will stay in business long if heís only giving one haircut a day.
It would be a better business model to give dozens of free haircuts each day, Mr Wizard.
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  #4480  
Old 09-27-2018, 03:40 PM
Klaymen Klaymen is offline
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In soviet Russia, joke hears you!
In Korea only old men hear jokes.
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