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  #4751  
Old 05-06-2020, 07:48 PM
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JollyGoodFCAS JollyGoodFCAS is offline
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Or I could sing:

Old Macdonald has dyslexia O-I-E-I-E
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FCAS is the yoda of puns. He sprinkles little treasures when the pun gods smile upon us
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  #4752  
Old 05-07-2020, 05:07 PM
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DyalDragon DyalDragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf View Post
Old McDonald had a stroke
X A-12
IFYJ
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VEE FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP APC

Spoiler:
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Originally Posted by honeybubu
Dyal, if you die from COVID, you might never realize your dream of becoming an ASA!

actually, on 2nd thought, you've been proven to likely be too dumb to become an ASA anyway.
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Originally Posted by ao fan View Post
that's a dumb example and really has zero to do with my thoughts on children.

met ARTS kids. they are nice kids. no talk of being aborted was mentioned.
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I got called Karen for getting pissed at people...
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  #4753  
Old 06-02-2020, 09:51 PM
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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce”?

She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."

The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but we can't seem to do anything about it."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce; my husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."
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Sideshow Bob's a psychopath who uses proper Kelsey Grammer.


Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hydraskull
Turns out, annuitize IS DB. Directed by M Night Shyamalan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabeanactuary
I realized WIS was his dump stat a while back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShebaPoe
Ideologues should be kept far away from power. Starbucks is a good place for them to work.
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Originally Posted by nonlnear View Post
There's no such thing as an overqualified barista. You need somebody who can not only make drinks and run a register, but also engage customers who might have questions about the genderqueer or Hegelian subtext of the latest pretending-to-not-be-from-a-big-label album being hawked on their counter.
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  #4754  
Old 06-03-2020, 09:22 AM
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If your grandfather starting raving about buying countries and being the chosen one, at the barest minimum you'd confiscate his car keys.
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  #4755  
Old 06-05-2020, 07:55 PM
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Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.
__________________
Sideshow Bob's a psychopath who uses proper Kelsey Grammer.


Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hydraskull
Turns out, annuitize IS DB. Directed by M Night Shyamalan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabeanactuary
I realized WIS was his dump stat a while back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShebaPoe
Ideologues should be kept far away from power. Starbucks is a good place for them to work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonlnear View Post
There's no such thing as an overqualified barista. You need somebody who can not only make drinks and run a register, but also engage customers who might have questions about the genderqueer or Hegelian subtext of the latest pretending-to-not-be-from-a-big-label album being hawked on their counter.
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  #4756  
Old 06-09-2020, 12:21 AM
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soyleche soyleche is offline
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Did you know that you can't hear a pterodactyl urinate?

It's because of the silent "p".
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I'll never again say that I could never enjoy Bieber sung by a bunch of Mormons - Ben Folds
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  #4757  
Old 06-09-2020, 02:33 AM
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LOL
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  #4758  
Old 06-09-2020, 10:38 AM
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LICENSED TO ILL LICENSED TO ILL is offline
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A priest, rabbit and minister walk into a bar
The bartender asks the rabbit "What'll you have?"
The rabbit says "I don't know, I'm only here because of autocorrect"
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Despite his name, LTI is squeaky clean and not harboring any diseases. Physical ones at least.
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this might be my favorite thread on the AO
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  #4759  
Old 06-09-2020, 01:44 PM
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Abstract Actuary Abstract Actuary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soyleche View Post
Did you know that you can't hear a pterodactyl urinate?

It's because of the silent "p".
Why don't you hear a pterodactyl when it's in the bathroom? Because the p is silent.
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  #4760  
Old Yesterday, 03:38 PM
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Werewolf Werewolf is offline
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I got the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" confused.

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
__________________
Sideshow Bob's a psychopath who uses proper Kelsey Grammer.


Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hydraskull
Turns out, annuitize IS DB. Directed by M Night Shyamalan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabeanactuary
I realized WIS was his dump stat a while back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShebaPoe
Ideologues should be kept far away from power. Starbucks is a good place for them to work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nonlnear View Post
There's no such thing as an overqualified barista. You need somebody who can not only make drinks and run a register, but also engage customers who might have questions about the genderqueer or Hegelian subtext of the latest pretending-to-not-be-from-a-big-label album being hawked on their counter.
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