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  #1  
Old 02-25-2020, 03:01 PM
royevans royevans is offline
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Default Feeling guilty about receiving a team lunch

I've worked an EL job for 5 months. I moved across the country for this job and due to personal issues, I handed in a resignation letter. I feel I was a horrible employee, didn't contribute anything significant in the 5 months I was here, and most importantly produced work with careless quality. Had plenty of mistakes and constantly had to redo work by my manager and overall was unable to concentrate.

Eventually I ended up resigning rather quickly, and now the department head booked a team lunch for my leave. I don't think I even deserve this lunch -- I feel guilty and don't really want to attend. I don't even have any friends in the team and I overall I don't think I deserve the good treatment. I'd like to leave the company today, but I told them I'll stay for 2 weeks.

Some of this worry stems from my social anxiety (which is a large part of why I'm quitting) -- I don't really have a question and am just looking for suggestions of what to do hear. I think most people would say just go to the team lunch and that the money is coming from the company not my manager, but I can't help but feel a sense of guilt that they are treating me so cordially and I didn't really do anything productive in my 5 months here....

Last edited by royevans; 02-25-2020 at 03:18 PM..
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  #2  
Old 02-25-2020, 03:05 PM
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Cannonball Cannonball is offline
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Your teammates have instructed the wait staff to spit in your food.

Be a good sport and eat it anyway.
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  #3  
Old 02-25-2020, 03:06 PM
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Maine-iac Maine-iac is offline
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It's a kindness to let people do something for you sometimes. They may feel bad that they couldn't make you feel a part of the team, and this may make them feel better about it.

And if you have social anxiety issues, any opportunity to practice business socialization is to your benefit, especially in a situation like this where you've already resigned and have little to lose.
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  #4  
Old 02-25-2020, 03:06 PM
zenkei18 zenkei18 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by royevans View Post
I've worked an EL job for 5 months. I moved across the company for this job and due to personal issues, I handed in a resignation letter. I feel I was a horrible employee, didn't contribute anything significant in the 5 months I was here, and most importantly produced work with careless quality. Had plenty of mistakes and constantly had to redo work by my manager and overall was unable to concentrate.

Eventually I ended up resigning rather quickly, and now the department head booked a team lunch for my leave. I don't think I even deserve this lunch -- I feel guilty and don't really want to attend. I don't even have any friends in the team and I overall I don't think I deserve the good treatment. I'd like to leave the company today, but I told them I'll stay for 2 weeks.

Some of this worry stems from my social anxiety (which is a large part of why I'm quitting) -- I don't really have a question and am just looking for suggestions of what to do hear. I think most people would say just go to the team lunch and that the money is coming from the company not my manager, but I can't help but feel a sense of guilt that they are treating me so cordially and I didn't really do anything productive in my 5 months here....
As someone who left a job after fighting tooth and nail to save the organization they worked for and having literally no managers around to shake my hand or anything as I left the building, I have a hard time feeling sympathy.

Go to the lunch.

I know you feel like you don't deserve it, but I think you should consider the fact that most people understand jobs aren't for everyone. Even though you may not have felt welcome or helpful there, there's a good chance that some other people actually liked having you around and will miss you. I would cherish that as much as you can.
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Old 02-25-2020, 03:16 PM
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I would go, and definitely thank them for putting up with you, maybe say a few things you learned about yourself while you were there. "while this wasn't the right fit for me professionally, I realized I really enjoy x and am awful at y and thanks for putting up with me, will never forget your kindness"
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  #6  
Old 02-25-2020, 03:17 PM
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JollyGoodFCAS JollyGoodFCAS is online now
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Maybe you can offer to pay for the lunch?
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Old 02-25-2020, 03:20 PM
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JollyGoodFCAS JollyGoodFCAS is online now
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The lunch isn't so much for you as it is for your cow-orkers, and I'm sure most of them are happy to have an excuse for a free lunch, so for just an hour of your time, suck it up and let them have their steak and lobster.
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Old 02-25-2020, 03:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maine-iac View Post
It's a kindness to let people do something for you sometimes. They may feel bad that they couldn't make you feel a part of the team, and this may make them feel better about it.

And if you have social anxiety issues, any opportunity to practice business socialization is to your benefit, especially in a situation like this where you've already resigned and have little to lose.
read this


now read it again
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  #9  
Old 02-25-2020, 03:28 PM
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Colonel Smoothie Colonel Smoothie is offline
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcJjMnHoIBI
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Don't you even think about sending me your resume. I'll turn it into an origami boulder and return it to you.
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  #10  
Old 02-25-2020, 03:32 PM
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fdsafdsa fdsafdsa is offline
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It's pretty normal to not feel great about your work for the first year or so. Having the self awareness to know you have room to improve actually puts you a notch above a lot of other people.

As Jolly pointed out, the team wants a lunch for themselves as well, so let them have it even if you feel like you don't "deserve" a lunch.
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