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  #4411  
Old 04-30-2018, 11:24 AM
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Vorian Atreides Vorian Atreides is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dgtatum View Post
Nothing quite as clever as a good one liner.
Unless you have two eyes. Then you just look lopsided.
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  #4412  
Old 05-04-2018, 12:00 PM
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Meshuga Meshuga is offline
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jesus loves you is comforting unless you hear it in a mexican prison
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  #4413  
Old 05-04-2018, 12:45 PM
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jesus loves you is comforting unless you hear it in a mexican prison
pretty good
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  #4414  
Old 05-04-2018, 03:07 PM
Actuary321 Actuary321 is offline
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We might be hearing different things. Reading it works better.
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  #4415  
Old 07-12-2018, 04:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dgtatum View Post
Nothing quite as clever as a good one liner.
"See, that's what I do. I'm a one-liner comedian. I don't tell stories.

[beat]

Funny how that all started...

[beat] [laughter]"

-Stewart Francis
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  #4416  
Old 07-12-2018, 05:04 PM
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Meshuga Meshuga is offline
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doctor, my penis is burning

oh, that just means someone is talking about it

- garry shandling
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  #4417  
Old 07-22-2018, 05:23 PM
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llcooljabe llcooljabe is offline
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So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "caution, I'm a maneater".

I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "excuse me, Miss... about your shirt"

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men.. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."

I looked at her, confused and said; "That's actually not what I was going to say at all."

"Oh.." she replied as a smile started to come across her face. "What were you going to say?"

"That's not how you spell manatee."
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  #4418  
Old 07-23-2018, 08:28 AM
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i'm not sure we're allowed to laugh at jokes like that anymore, but i did anyway
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  #4419  
Old 07-23-2018, 09:10 AM
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Vorian Atreides Vorian Atreides is offline
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I find your lack of faith disturbing

Why should I worry about dying? Itís not going to happen in my lifetime!


Freedom of speech is not a license to discourtesy

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  #4420  
Old 07-23-2018, 01:37 PM
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Samir Samir is offline
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What did the oxygen atom say when it met the magnesium atom?

Spoiler:
OMG
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