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Old 10-08-2010, 11:13 AM
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Season 10, Episode 4: The claws come out

Wade: Uh, say Clint, I was sort of thinking I'd kind of like to step up as PM this week. You know, show Trump what a strong leader I am. If that's okay with you, that is.
Clint: No way, Hoss. Ya'll ain't gonna be no PM this week.
Wade: Okay.

Russell Simmons: Tyana, you're breathing the same air as billionaires. Stop doing that because I don't want to breathe the same air as an unemployed real estate agent. And here's a Calvin Klein coupon from Donald Trump. Get yourself some descent clothes.
Tyana: Oh, I think I'm going to cry!

Trump: This week you're going to work with PopcornIndiana. They tell me it's a very famous and well-known company, even though I never heard of it before today. I guess they sell popcorn. They're also from Indiana, but in the same way Arizona Iced Tea is from Arizona. So what you're doing is making a viral guerilla video for this thing called "the internet". This video is supposed to be a huge, huge event, something that'll get everyone talking, sending it to their friends, all that stuff.
Masha: Hmmm ... so we're supposed to make a run-of-the-mill commersial for television. Got it.

Wade: Let's have a popcorn fight.
Clint: Good idea. A huge popcorn fight right in the middle of the street.
Steuart: Won't someone please think of the children!!!
David: Mmmm... bagel. Ow, my tooth! You guys mind if I go get this fixed?
The rest of Octane, in unison: Go right ahead. Take your time.

Masha: What do you think of this idea?
Tyana: Bad idea. Think of something else.
Stephanie: What do you think of this idea?
Poppy: Bad idea. Think of something else.
Kelly: What do you think of this idea?
Liza: Bad idea. Think of something else.
Brandy: What do you think of this idea?
Tyana: Bad idea. Think of something else.
Masha: Tyana, Liza, and Poppy, you three go run errands while we do the real work. After we're done with the creative part, you can come back and I'll put you in charge of creativity.

Clint: Popcorn war!
Steuart: Won't somone please think of the children!
Octane, shouting in unison: Sh - noise - noise - noise - noise - ome!
Wade: ... some!

Trump: Who was the PM this week? Wade, right?
Wade: No, Clint wouldn't let me display my brilliant leadership abilities. I'll do it next week.
Clint: We did pretty good this week. Mostly because David was getting his tooth fixed.
Trump: David out, things run better. Junior, write that down.
Junior: Writing it down.
Trump: Masha how did you do?
Masha: Meow, meow, Tyana, meow.
Stephanie: Meow, meow, Tyana, meow.
Brandy: Meow, meow, Tyana, meow.
Liza: I'd better get on board. Meow, meow, Tyana, meow.
Trump: Tyana, the claws come out? What's going on?
Tyana: Their idea sucked.
Masha: What was your big idea Tyana?
Tyana: Well,
Masha: What was your big idea Tyana?
Tyana: Well,
Masha: What was your big idea Tyana?
Tyana: Well,
Masha: What was your big idea Tyana?
Tyana: Well,
Masha: What was your big idea Tyana?
Trump: Masha has a point. You haven't told us your big idea. So the men win, ladies lose.

Trump: Let's see, you were tasked with creating a viral internet video, but you made a boring commercial. Masha was PM, she's admitted that she her creativity is non-existent, and she's admitted to being an ineffective time manager. But Tyana warned that the video was bad. Anyone who works for the Trump organization, please take note. Don't tell me that I'm about to drive off a cliff without having an alternate route completely mapped out. It's better to let me drive off that cliff, taking everyone with me.

Masha: I like to say I'm tough.
Trump: Don't say that. Anyone who declares him- or herself to be something is usually the opposite. Now, I like to say that I'm an independent thinker. That's why I went along with whatever the men said last week and fired James, despite the fact that David should have been fired. It's also why I went along with the men the week before and fired Alex, despite the fact that, again, David should have been fired. And it's why I went along with the women in week 1 and fired Nicole, despite the fact that Masha shoulf have been fired. So Tyana, you're fired.

Tyana: Look at me, America! After doing this show, I've decided to keep being a real estate agent! In other words, I'm still unemployed!

Next week: A boardroom first!
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Old 10-08-2010, 11:32 AM
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mlschop mlschop is offline
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Originally Posted by Griffin 3 View Post
Trump: Don't say that. Anyone who declares him- or herself to be something is usually the opposite. Now, I like to say that I'm an independent thinker. That's why I went along with whatever the men said last week and fired James, despite the fact that David should have been fired. It's also why I went along with the men the week before and fired Alex, despite the fact that, again, David should have been fired. And it's why I went along with the women in week 1 and fired Nicole, despite the fact that Masha shoulf have been fired. So Tyana, you're fired.

I guess no one is watching this, but I'll comment anyway cuz I'm bored.

Honestly, Trump kept Masha around cuz she looks better than Tyana and he hasn't gotten in her pants yet.

If it hasn't already, the Apprentice is such a joke. Trump is terrible. I'd actually like to see him "retire" from the show and have his daughter run the show. She really seems like she has more brains than he does. Don't get me started on Junior though...

BTW, after she was fired, the girls left, but Tyana sat there. Then it cuts to Tyana walking toward the elevator. They usually like showing other contestants giving the fired person hugs or cold shoulder (and bitchy comments). We didn't get any of those. I think Tyana may have sat there and either bitched out Trump or cried to Trump in the boardroom and we didn't see it. Just a theory
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Old 10-08-2010, 11:39 AM
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Actually, Junior contributed in the boardroom this week (unlike most weeks). He's the one who called out Masha on her time-management skills.

And I forgot to include the line where Masha called Tyana fat in the boardroom. That's too bad since it was one of the best lines last night.
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Old 10-08-2010, 11:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Griffin View Post
Actually, Junior contributed in the boardroom this week (unlike most weeks). He's the one who called out Masha on her time-management skills.

And I forgot to include the line where Masha called Tyana fat in the boardroom. That's too bad since it was one of the best lines last night.
Agree on both points
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Old 10-15-2010, 12:32 PM
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Season 10, Episode 5: There's No Business Like Shoe Business

Trump: This week you're going to put on a fashion show! About shoes! No seriously, that's it. A fashion show. Because we're trying to compete against Project Runway. Anyways, it's for Rockport Shoes who's about to introduce their 2011 product line. Junior and CarolineIvanka are grounded this week, so I brought in two head hunters instead. Sorry about that, 'cause I know that out of work people would rather work to impress my kids than work to impress head hunters.

Stephanie: Poppy, Kelly, Liza, you be the creative team. If we lose, we'll say it was a lack of creativity. Brandy, do you have any MC experience?
Brandy: Nope, none at all. Zilcho. Nada on the MC experiencio.
Stephanie: Perfect. It seems like you'll do great then. Oh yeah, Mahsa, Mahsa, hmm..., we need a task for you .., say, do you own a watch?
Mahsa: Yep.
Stephanie: Perfect, you'll be the "timekeeper".
Mahsa: Only if we can call all of our male models "Tristan", of all things.
Kelly: Maybe we should have all of the models walk out practically naked at the end.
Stephanie: Perfect. If it works, I'll take credit. If it fails, I'll blame it all on you.
Kelly: Sounds like a plan.

Wade: Anand and Steuart, I'm assigning you two to buy clothes for the ladies. It's because you're the most "fashionable" two here. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Gene: I have lots of public speaking experience. Lots and lots. Loads of it. "Public Speaking" is my middle name. My birth certificate actually says "Gene 'Public Speaking' Whatever-My-Last-Name-Is".
Wade: Would you like to be MC?
Gene: Well, okay, if you think that's a good idea.
David: No fair! I was going to call MC!
Wade: Well, that seems fair. You two will be co-MCs.
Clint: Hmmm ... Mr. Stiff-as-a-Board and Mr. Bozo-the-Clown, sharing the most important job in a fashion show. There's no way that can go wrong.

************************************************** *************
Mostly boring footage of Kelly and Poppy shopping for the male
models, and Anand and Steuart shopping for the female models.
Only two interesting things happen:
1) Poppy expressed joy at outfitting a man in underwear.
- When checking to see if Poppy is married, it turns out she isn't. So that angle goes nowhere.
- However, what was discovered is: Poppy is currently dating David! Really? Yes, really.
- And David is married with 5 kids, although he's getting divorced.
- There's no way that can go wrong.

2) Steuart complained to Anand that Anand told the women models about Steuart's girlfriend.
- Hey, Steuart, maybe if you say it quietly enough, on national television, your girlfriend won't hear.
************************************************** *************

Brandy: This guy walking down the runway in some type of shoe, his name is Tristan.
Brandy: And the next guy who's pretend-jogging in a t-shirt and boxers, wearing some kind of shoe, his name is Tristan too.
Brandy: And this guy, pretending to go to work wearing what appears to be shoes, his name is, yep, you guessed it, Tristan.
Brandy: And now we have another Tristan, going to meet clients while wearing shorts and some kind of shoe. Notice how the shoe compliments his scabs.
Brandy: And now, here come many Tristans, wereing shoes, and hardly anything else.
Rockport CEO: Oh no, my latent homosexuality is starting to surface. I'd better avert my eyes.
Trump: I thought there was going to be lunch at this event.

David: Welcome to our piece of the fashion show. And now that my role in this event is completed, I'll turn it over to Gene and his laptop.
Gene: Here's the first model, her name is High Heel Pump. She's wearing a ... shoe. The show is red. It's made of lather, I mean leather. It has 49.3 mm heels.
Gene: And next we have the lovely model named Flats. She's wearing a shoe too. It's matteral, I mean material, is probably leather too.
Gene: Next is the lovely Slingback, wearing a shoe. It is made of rubber. I mean plastic. I mean, it's made of something, I'm sure. But it doesn't smell, whatever it is. I know this for a fact, because I smelled every shoe before the show started.
Wade: The only was we win is if the women did something stupid, like send out naked men or something.

Trump: Brandy, have you ever MCed before?
Brandy: Nope, never. It was a big risk putting me out there, but I gave it my best shot.
Trump: You were spectacular. In fact, I may have a "special assignment" for you later. wink wink.
Trump: What about the naked men? The Rockport guy said it stirred something in him he'd never felt before.
Stephanie: It sounds like they liked it. Therefore, it was me. All me. It was all my idea, nobody else's. They did like it, didn't they?
Trump: Yep. And you ladies can go, because the men's presentation totally sucked.

Trump: Wade, what the *bleep*ing *bleep*itdy *bleep*y *bleep* were you thinking? Putting Gene out there to MC?
Wade: Gene said he had MC experience.
Trump: Bull *bleep*ing* *bleep* *bleep*ocity. Why didn't you go with a hot, unproven chick like the ladies did?
Wade: Well, Gene seems to be very well-spoken.
Gene: I have to admit, I am very well-spoken.
Wade: He acts very well-spoken.
Gene: It's no act. I am very well-spoken.
Clint: {silence}
Trump: That's a load of *bleep*erly *bleep*ful *bleep*.
Wade: Well, he seems well-spoken.
Trump: And why'd you put that *bleep*ing pile of *bleep* David out there too? That's total *bleep* *bleep*.
David: Well, Anand and Steuart were harassing the models.
Clint: {silence}
Trump: Hey guys, how'd that go? You should have sent me a text so I could meet up with you. There were more than enough models to go around.
Clint: {silence}
Gene: If you want to fire me, go right ahead.
Trump: Okay, you're fired.
Wade: *whew* That was close.
Trump: You too Wade. You're fired.
David: Exit, stage left.

Gene: I'm so glad I had that experience with Trump. It gave me just the right connections I needed to open a 1-man business, and now I'm designing a homeless shelter or something.

Wade: I am so going to show up Trump someday when I own more land than he does. Trump's problem is he keeps buying stuff in Manhattan, which is expensive. I'm going to buy farmland in Minnesota, which is much cheaper per acre.
Hear about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
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Old 10-15-2010, 12:43 PM
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Clearly, Wade was toast last week the minute Trump realized he wasn't the PM for the popcorn task despite assuring Trump he would do that. It would have taken a star performance to overcome that.

And David is obviously on the short list to be fired. He might as well keep his bags packed.

The other three men seem to be in Trump's good graces, although if Octane gets down to the three of them, he'll probably fire Anand or Steuart since they seem to be the same guy.

Trump doesn't seem to have anything against any of the women at the moment, but I suspect Poppy or Liza will be the next woman gone since many of the other women have already been using those two to sharpen their claws.
I've never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about.
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Old 10-15-2010, 01:00 PM
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These are hilarious!!

You can't accept the SOA in your heart and believe they save life insurers from a fiery hell and have that be enough to get your fellowship. - KIRY commenting on why Southern Baptist origins do not prepare you for the actuarial field

Spoiler - :

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Old 10-22-2010, 01:21 PM
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Season 10, Episode 6: Street Walkers on Wall Street

Stephanie: 1, 2, 3, 4 ... , oh my. Even though last week we said there'd be a double firing, let's feign surprise that there was a double firing.
The Other Blondes: Oh my.
Anand: David, you're a crazy nutjob.
David: If we lose, then take me to the boardroom since the producers obviously like my brand of crazy nutjob. So there.

Michael Rupp: Stephanie, I'm going to put you into some sort of management training course for Rockport Shoes.
Stephanie: Wow, that's way better than meeting with the airline dude who told the one PM "chin up, it will work out" or the billionaire dude that gave the other PM the permission to breathe the same air as him.

Trump: We don't have a sponsor lined up this week, and we want to get away from the boring design and market a product task like the previous 5 weeks. So this week you're going to design a pedicab tour and market it. Who's the PMs?
Kelly: I am. I'm the PM. The PM is me. I am. I'm the PM. The PM is me.
Trump: So, Kelly one of the PMs?
Kelly: I am. I'm the PM.
Anand: I'm the other PM.
Trump: Okay. Clint, I've decided I don't like your ass. Literally.
Clint: Good to know.
Trump: And CarolineIvanka will be my eyes, and since Junior is still grounded, I turned up another son with identical hair to be my ears.

Pedicab License Dude: Mahsa and Kelly, you are so stupid you can't even ride a bike. Plus, if I don't give you licenses, it evens up the two teams on number of bikes.

Clint: Let's make our cabs look like chariots or something.
CarolineIvanka: How's it going guys?
David: ooo, ooo, ooo, eee, eee, eee, aaa, aaa, aaa.
CarolineIvanka: Okay then.

Mahsa: Okay, Blondes, where do we want to sell?
Stephanie: I say it should be Wall Street since they sell stuff there.
Mahsa: Okay, as a native New Yorker, I concur.
Stephanie: But remember, the idea is mine. All mine.
Brandie: Let's get hooker costumes and call ourselves "Babes on Bikes"
Kelly: There's no way this can go wrong.

Clint: How'd you like to go on a pedicab ride, Mr. Tourist?
David: Off with his head!
Steaurt: What about you, Madam Tourist?
David: Throw her to the lions!
Anand: How are you enjoying the ride, Touristy family?
David: Did you know my grandfather was killed by a mule?
Clint: Let's get away from this guy.
David: Wall street is about money, which I have none of. Hey, tourist, you think that's why my wife left me?

Kelly: Hey baby, how 'bout a "ride"
Liza: Come on honey, just 15 minutes, that's all it takes.
Stephanie: Hey big boy, how'd you like to ride a babe? I mean, ride my bike? I mean, take a 15 minute ride on me? I mean, go on an adventure you’ll always remember?
Eric Trump: Kelly, who's doing the best?
Kelly: Poppy is.
Mahsa: You bitch! You gave praise to someone other than me!
Stephanie: You didn't say anything about me either!
Eric Trump: Ooo ... catfight! Yowsa!

Trump: How do the guys think they did?
Clint: We did great. David! You get that hand out of my face or I'll break it in two, stick one half down your throat and the other half up your butt. Mr. Trump, please, win or lose, relieve us of this burden.
Trump: Now Clint, should you win, you know there's no way I could ever alter the rules here. It would affect the integrity of reality television and spur a Congressional inquiry. Besides, after all that, I certainly want to keep David around a bit longer to attempt to boost the ratings.
Clint: Understood.
Trump: Mahsa, do you think you won?
Mahsa: No way, I fell into that trap in week 2. All I'm saying is we could have won and we could have lost.
Trump: So how did the ladies do?
Eric Trump: $320.
CarolineIvanka: The men did $950.
Trump: Wow, I guess we've proven that selling touristy things to tourists is a better idea than selling touristy things to busy New Yorkers trying to work.

Trump: Gee whiz Kelly, they tripled your revenue.
Kelly: I know I was PM on this losing task, but Stephanie was in charge of the idea, the location, the marketing, and sales.
Eric Trump: So what did you do?
Kelly: Nothing. It was Liza's fault.
Trump: Why is that?
Kelly: Because each week someone blames Liza early on, then everyone else piles on. it's sort of our tradition.
Trump: I've noticed that.
Stephanie: Well, it's certainly not my fault, just because I was in charge of all of that. I mean, after all, I'm from Chicago. And Canada. I'm from two places at once. So how could I know that a tourist thing should be sold where the tourists are? You'd have to be from New York to know something like that.
Trump: I'm beginning to see why some of you people are out of work.
CarolineIvanka: Why didn't you poll some pedicab drivers about the best places to go? I'm sure they'd want the competition from hookers on bikes.
Kelly: I tried, but they couldn't stand my high-pitched nasally voice.
Trump: Neither can I. You're fired.

Kelly: Since I got fired, I decided to return to my first love, which is establishing my own firm which supports causes that support women and children. I.e., just like the previous three firees, I'm still looking for a job.

Next week: A boardroom first!
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CLAAS of America, Inc.® - Your Harvesting Specialist
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Old 10-29-2010, 04:17 PM
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Season 10, Episode 7: Thanks a Lot, Spoiler Alert

NBC Voiceover Guy: Next on Apprentice ... a boardroom first ... the winning team risks it all by bursting back into the boardroom after being dismissed! Be sure to watch it and you'll be surprised!

Mahsa: Gentlemen, since we lost the last task, I think it's important for you to know how much each of us sold in that task.
Brandi: Hey! Mahsa! Shut the *bleep* up!
Mahsa: Did you just tell me to shut the *bleep* up? I'm not going to shut the *bleep* up. But I'll tell you to shut the *bleep* up. Shut the *bleep* up!
Brandi: No, you shut the *bleep* up!
Mahsa: I'm not going to shut the *bleep* up. You shut the *bleep* up!
Clint: Me-ow!
Stephanie: I've been carrying this team, taking on every single role in every single task in every single week! There is no way, no how, that I'm going step up one more time for this team. Nope, my stepping up this week is zero, zilch, nada, nothing, el-zippo.

Trump: Junior's back this week, Eric's been put back into cold storage. You're going to present a short Broadway musical to some investors because, apparently, people with money don't have time for a full-length production. Your judges will be three people I've never heard of, but feel free to act amazed and overjoyed at who they are. Who's going to be the Fortitude PM?
Fortitude: (crickets)
Fortitude: (crickets)
Fortitude: (crickets)
Liza: I guess I'll do it.
Trump: Who's the Octane PM?
Steuart: Me.

Steuart: Clint, you take on this important job. Anand, you take on this other important job. And David, you go get us some coffee. Here's the address of the coffee house, it's in Newark.

Liza: Okay, anybody here ever seen a Broadway show? What is that anyway? Is it like a TV show? Do they ever have singing at those things?
Stephanie: Ooo! Ooo! I really really super duper want to take a big role here. I studied for 50 years with the National Conservatory or something like that and I know everything thee ever was to know about musicals!
Poppy: You know what, I have similar experience.
Stephanie: Miley Cyrus isn't music, bitch.
Liza: Stephanie, you and Mahsa go get the printing done. Make sure it's in color.
Mahsa: No way! It's got to be black and white.

David: I'm back. What did I miss?
Steuart: You got the coffee. Good boy. Now sit in the corner while we put together a totally ridiculous presentation.
David: No way! That presentation would be totally ridiculous! Do it this other way.
Clint: Wow, the other way is so much better.
Anand: I agree.
Steuart: Okay, David, you take point on this one. Either way this goes is good since if we win, I'm the winning PM, and if we lose, you get fired.

Octane's Singers: La la la, la la la la.
Mr. Broadway Musical Guy: Very good job.
Clint: Here you go, Mr. Broadway Musical Guy. This is our documentation.
Mr. Broadway Musical Guy: Very good job.
Steuart: I, er, um, this is a musical about ... something, I guess. It's ... a muscu- I mean musical ... well, please give money for this show.
Mr. Broadway Musical Guy: What the *bleep* was that?

Fortitude's Singers: La la la, la la la la.
Mr. Broadway Musical Guy: Very good job.
Liza: Here's what we're all about. Please give the show some money.
Mr. Broadway Musical Guy: Very good job.
Mahsa: Here you go, Mr. Broadway Musical Guy. This is our documentation.
Mr. Broadway Musical Guy: What the *bleep* is this? There's no color and there's no phone number to give you guys my credit card number.

Trump: Clint, how did David do?
Clint: I no longer want to kill him.
Trump: Wow, David, that's pretty high praise. What do you guys think of the women's material from this task?
Clint: It sucks.
Trump: That's what 2 out of 3 judges said. So you guys leave.
Liza: Mr. Trump, that's Mahsa and Stephanie's fault.
Stephanie: Bitch. Why didn't you let me do creativity, presentation, and shmoozing as well the graphics? You know I'm a musical expert.
Trump: Why didn't you step up to be PM then?
Stephanie: Because you didn't say it was a musical. You said it was Broadway. There's a world of difference between the two.
Trump: You lie. I don't like to be lied to. Your days are numbered, and I mean literally. Okay, now Mahsa, what did you think of Liza's performance?
Mahsa: I'd rather talk about myself.
Trump: You do that a lot.
Brandi: She sure does. She should shut the *bleep* up.
Mahsa: Don't you tell me to shut the *bleep* up. I'd never tell someone to shut the *bleep* up. You'll never hear me say *bleep*. No *bleep*ing way!
Brandi: Shut the *bleep* up.
Liza: Did you know last week Mahsa gave told the men how much we made before the boardroom?
The Three Trumps: insert three very shocked smiley things here
Mahsa: Well, Clint and I were playing "I'll show you mine" but using sales records instead.
Receptionist: Mr. Trump, put your finger on the trap door button. The men are coming back in.
Clint: That's a lie! It's a lie! She's telling lies! I never told her what we made! David will back me up. So will Steuart and Anand.
Brandi: Me too! Especially since I realize this isn't going well got Mahsa.
Trump: No it's not going well for her because she's fired.

Mahsa: Ever since getting fired, I've set my sights on doing ... something ... involving show business or something like that. In other words, like the past 3 or 4 firees, I'm still unemployed.

Next week: A boardroom first!
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Old 10-29-2010, 04:18 PM
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First, NBC's marketing department is stupid. They spoiled the boardroom drama in a major way by revealing everything 15 seconds before the show started. What were they thinking?

Second, Junior was pretty good on the latest episode, and he was pretty good two episodes ago (the last time he appeared).

Third, Stephanie sure seems full of herself.

Fourth, Clint might consider taking a management course. Anger management.

Fifth, why are so many of these people still unemployed? I expected this experience would have opened a door or two for them. The first fired candidate has a job, but did any of the others? Maybe the others all think a job on the level of Construction Manager is beneath them.
... it was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.
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